When we buy a car, we find out in advance which make and model would suit us and we think about the performance, how much fuel the car consumes and which interior would suit us. When we receive the car after a long period of time and much anticipation, we expect our wishes to be fulfilled. If the performance is not right or the car does not offer what we ordered in terms of interior fittings, we are extremely disappointed and will certainly contact the sales outlet.
Dogs are not cars though.I repeatedly experience how people bring a dog into their lives with the expectation that it will quickly walk nicely on a lead, be social with all people and animals, behave well around other dogs, accompany them to restaurants and relax perfectly there, and ultimately fit into every situation without question or resistance. The list of expectations sometimes seems endless, and I am often amazed—sometimes even shocked—at what some people expect from their dogs. Even more concerning is when they become frustrated or even angry with the dog for not meeting these expectations—or simply being unable to do so.
But dogs are not robots, cars, or machines.
Depending on the breed (or mix), certain behaviors simply cannot be summoned at the push of a button. Even though breed books and reports promise all sorts of traits, reality often looks quite different. A Labrador may not automatically be the playful, family-friendly companion everyone expects, a Border Collie might not actually be suited for agility, and the supposedly non-hunting Moyen Poodle could still show a strong hunting instinct.
For example, dogs with a high arousal level will take much longer to learn to walk on a lead because they first need to process all the environmental stimuli. Some dogs will never be able to relax in a restaurant because the setting is simply too overwhelming and stressful for them. During adolescence, young dogs often exhibit behaviors that don’t align with our expectations—simply because their brains are going through major developmental changes. Anxious dogs may never be able to stroll calmly through a busy city, no matter how much training they receive.
The list of behaviors that don’t meet human expectations is incredibly long.
Our expectations are often too high. We expect our doctor to diagnose us immediately. A well-rated restaurant should serve excellent food with outstanding service. As employees, we expect our superiors to recognize our efforts and compensate us fairly.
But above all, having a dog requires PATIENCE, TIME, FLEXIBILITY, and ACCEPTANCE.
It’s worth lowering your expectations. I understand that people dream of cheerful, food-loving Labradors, but when their dog suddenly reacts aggressively toward others, they feel completely lost.
Living beings are always individuals—they come with their own genetics, experiences (sometimes difficult ones), and unique personalities. Just like humans.
The more willing you are to accept your dog for who he is, the easier life with him will be.
With patience and understanding, it is ALWAYS possible to build a strong and trusting bond with your four-legged friend.
